Shorter David Brooks:
I used to have a magic green jacket that turned me into a Democrat but then they got too Democraticky with all those taxes on rich people so I took off the jacket and now I’m not but I like to pretend I am and I’m worried that after all their good work being loyal Bushistas, they’re threatening to turn into Democrats again and that makes me sad.
The end.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™