1) “I’m sorry but your husband died of cancer and that’s not on our Approved Causes List.”
“Approved Causes List? What causes of death do you approve?”
“Strangulation by an enraged artichoke.”
“Um, is that all?”
“Yes. We consider everything else to be uncovered.”
Consumer flips frantically through several hundred pages of Coverage Information. “It doesn’t say anything about artichokes in here.”
“No. You should have asked.”
“It was your responsibility. Don’t look at me. The Congress says so.”
The funny thing about all of this is that no matter how bad all their ideas are, no matter how disastrous their governance has been, no matter how many horrible things they have done to the economy and this country, what really is killing the Republican party is that deep down, they are just complete assholes. You see it in the way they treat women, you see it in the way they treat minorities, you see it in the way they treat homosexuals, you see it in the way they treat anyone who is not a white Christian, and you see it in the way they treat anyone who disagrees with them slightly about anything. They just have no respect for anyone, and it shows.
Yup. That about covers it.
Joel Pett, USA Today