Category Archives: Gonzales

Gonzo the Scrivener

Here’s something you may never see again: a political cartoon from Pat Oliphant based on Herman Melville.

oliphant-bartleby.gif

Not true, of course, Gonzo is right where the Emperor wants him – covering his Master’s ass. Still, the reference is clever.

White House Proves Alzheimer’s a Virus

There has been no scientific evidence of it up to now but recent developments in the Congress have, I believe, proved fairly conclusively that Alzheimer’s is viral in nature and suggests that the carrier of this dread disease is none other than Alberto Gonzales.

Consider: ever since Gonzo’s first appearance before the House Judiciary Committee when he uttered the phrases “I don’t remember” or “I can’t recall” some 55 times in the course of the first 2 hours, a rash of Administration witnesses have appeared who were unable to remember key sections of their lives.  Monica Goodling, GSA Administrator Lurita Doan, Kyle Sampson, and what seems like dozens of others appear to have lost access to their memory centers, saying they “can’t recall” who they are, what they’re doing in the White House, or what exactly the “Constitution” might be. 

Mr Gonzales’ case seems from his latest testimony to have advanced to the stage where he can barely remember his own name. He can’t describe his position, his duties, or his role in the government, answering as if he thinks he works for Karl Rove in the political office. He became confused whenever anyone referred to him as the “Attorney General”, insisting that he worked for the president directly in much the same capacity as Bebe Rebozo used to work directly for Nixon – getting him coffee, fluffing his pillows, and answering “Yes sir” to anything Bush says.

Continue reading