Isn’t That Just Like a Republican?

With the Emperor’s approval rating (28% and still dropping) now actually underneath what most pollsters used to think of as the irreducible Republican die-hard minimum – 30% – and the party itself on the verge of implosion/destruction/a plunge down the steep chasm of obscurity to a fiery death in the depths below, House Minority Leader John Boehner, that fount of wisdom, that cavalier of compassion, a man who – in the GOP anyway – passes as rational, reasonable, and altogether sane, has decided that Republicans need a “new brand” in the political marketplace.

To that end, he has gathered together the finest, sharpest minds in the party, men (there’s a rumor that a – *shudder* – woman snuck in somehow, but that filthy gossip is as yet unconfirmed) like Texas Congressman John “Who?” Carter who summed it all up beautifully.

“We’re trying to look into our conscience and define ourselves, and as we define ourselves, decide how we can best communicate that to the rest of the world,” said Rep. John Carter (Tex.), the Republican conference secretary and one of the effort’s participants. “In other words, what are Republicans?”

I’m sorry, I must have read that wrong. Did he just apply the word “conscience” to Republicans??!!

Oh, wait. I see. They’re met together to see if they can figure out if anybody in the GOP has one.

Or has seen one. Or knows where one might be. Or, if that’s too much for them, if they’ve maybe got somebody who can at least tell them what one looks like. From a distance, of course. It’s not like a Pub has ever seen one up close.

Give the guy credit. After 25 years of believing that extremism in the cause of greed is no vice, after 6 years in which they owned both branches of govt and created the most venal, corrupt, arrogant, authoritarian puppet legislature since the Roman Senate in the days of Caligula, I’d say he’s got his work cut out for him. Espoecially with his own people laughing at him because he’s too “soft”.

“There’s a large and growing contingent in the conference that says he’s not being aggressive enough,” said one House Republican with close leadership ties, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to preserve those ties. “He’s . . . agreeable. Everyone gets along. But that’s not the mind-set you need to get back to the majority.”

Trying to find a conscience in the Republican party is like trying to find Genghis Khan at a Save-the-Spotted-Owls fundraiser. They think you’re a wimp, John. They want to see you walk into your trailer and come out dressed like John Wayne in a Big Hat, shootin’ irons blazin’ away.  What is all this “conscience” shit, anyway? Republicans rape, pillage, loot and murder. That’s what they’re good at. They specialize in NOT having consciences and ridiculing of people who do.

If you really want a conscience for the GOP, John, then you better do what you should have done in the first place: go on eBay and buy one.  ‘Cause otherwise, you’re screwed.

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