A liberal is a person who sees a fourteen-year-old girl performing sex acts onstage and wonders if she’s being paid minimum wage.
– Irving Kristol
No, Irving, a liberal is somebody who sees 18-yr-old girls going topless on the internet and wonders if we ought to raise the age of consent to 21.
But I could make a good solid argument for the truth of this:
A conservative is a person who sees a fourteen-year-old girl performing sex acts onstage and wonders how he can get a piece of the action.