Daily Archives: February 12, 2007

PubSpeak 2

hom*i*cide (hom’-i-side) n. Someone who commits suicide, as in FoxNews reports today that a homicide bomber blew himself up

stri*dent (stry’-dent [like the gum, only with an “s”]) adj. 1. loud, aggressive 2. anything said by a Democrat at a decibel level above that of a horse whisperer 3. anything said by a woman at a decibel level above that of a dead cat 4. anything said by a Democratic woman at a decibel level above that of the parasites inside an igneous rock (see also, harsh, grating, hysterical)

hys*ter*i*cal (hiss-tair’-i-kl) adj. description invariably applied to: 1. all women 2. all liberals 3. all Democrats 4. the Iraq Study Group

un*fair (uhn’-fare) adj. 1. anything done once by Democrats to any Republican who previously did it dozens and dozens of times to them 2. any criticism by anybody of any Republican about anything

par*ti*san (par’-tih-zuhn) n. 1. any Democrat who disagrees with any Republican about anything, no matter how trivial 2. any liberal policy, no matter how disconnected from politics (science, for example) 3. the media (except some; see impartial) 4. Ralph Nader 5. Sean Penn (and the rest of that Commie bunch in Hollywood) 6. Michael Moore 7. Norman Mailer (see also, moonbats)

par*ti*san at*tack (par’-tih-zuhn a-tak’) phr. 1. any attempt by any Democrat to expose Republican corruption, especially if true 2. any attempt by Democrats to make Republicans obey the law, act ethically, or respect the Constitution

im*par*tial (im-par’-shul) adj. 1. any statement, act, or characterization of a Democrat by any Republican, no matter how false, bigoted, or mean 2. any purely political act by Republicans done with the intention of bolstering a specious or indefensible argument, especially if that argument is devoid of supporting facts 3. any study done by the American Enterprise Institute, the Heritage Foundation, or the Hoover Institute, no matter how devoid of actual fact those studies are 4. Bill O’Reilly and/or FoxNews 5. The Weekly Standard, the Wall Street Journal, the National Review 6. Rush Limbaugh 7. Ann Coulter and Dinesh D’Souza

bi*-par*ti*san (bye-par’-tih-zuhn) n. 1. Democratic surrender to Republican will 2. Democratic obedience to Republican dictates 3. anything Republicans do that Joe Lieberman will support

con*sult (con-sulk’) v. 1. what Bush does when he tells Democrats what he’s going to do before he does it 2. what Republicans do with each other (see also, closed loop)